Esther

Yesterday I was driving along not thinking about too much and then I thought of Esther, our laundry woman. Here is your story. It is an exerpt from an email I wrote at the time and captures thoughts well.

You know, I am sure you can understand, when we go to work overseas in these difficult situations, often in these complex humanitarian emergency conditions, we prepare ourselves for hardship. Our preparation is often insufficient as we are merely projecting ourselves in without much experiential foundation, but one thing we do is comprehend that we will be faced with death.

Our medical folks are much more prepared for this. Us loggies, well, we can intellectualize, at best, in our preparation. Upon arrival, we see death all around us, the poverty the misery and the overabundant hope and joie-de-vivre. The dichotomy is confusing really. As we go through our missions we are rarely faced directly with death as we go about trying to resolve problems and keep our medical staff equipped and prepared to have another successful day - what ever that means. The death around us just becomes lost in the static of every day life in these places. We take our clues from our national counterparts and our local friendships and just accept it as nothing more than natural and inevitable. And so we tend not to dwell on it too much...for that is just what they do, right?


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Saturday November 5, 2005

It is an interesting situation, today. I was woken up this morning from one of the most wonderful sleeps I have had since I have been here. I slept through my usual four-o’clock stress-wakeup, my 0530 wake up and it was past 0600 when I heard the footsteps coming towards my room. It is Saturday and on these days I do not run so I was enjoying the freedom of sleeping in. It was looking to be a good day...

Another emergency accompanied by another problem. Our radio was not working because, for some reason the batteries are not sufficiently charged. We have been having low-grade charger problems lately, and with no radio, we have no comms with the hospital. Our surgeon got called out at 0500 hrs to the hospital with some problem or other and now our other MD is looking for a sitrep.

I was able to jury-rig a fix and in the ensuing call found out that our cleaner, our bright smiling Esther, grandmother of two children from her long-dead daughter, had had a stroke and was in a bad way.

I just found out moments ago that she died. Good for her, because in ANY country she was seriously affected with no hope of recovery. Sad because she was the sole breadwinner for such an extended family. Sad because she was always willing to give me such a wonderful smile and I used this smile as a blanket of warmth when I was struggling to cope with the periodic absurdity of the job here.

Bummer.

Thinking back, we in the West seem to be so disconnected from death. When death occurs it often happens behind closed doors of the old-folks home, or the white sterile screens of the hospital. There is no connection to family... Thinking back I cannot remember a death affecting me in such a way. Has there been death in my life? A grandmother, a grandfather another grandfather, is that all? Oh well, as our young surgeon says: ‘with life there is death.’ I have always believed so, obviously in a more esoteric way than realistic I suppose.

This is good. It is good for me to remember that the reason I am here is not to fight over budget or supply of grass-cutters or laundry rope or driver's overtime or theft of fuel or warning letters but to remember that we are here to help folks live longer more humane lives; one way or another.

Life sometimes teaches us that to be healthy is always better than wealthy. I have been incredibly fortunate that I have always had my health...more than the average health of the average person. True, I have worked for strength and health, but my work can only occur with a solid foundation that was bequeathed to me from birth. Gosh it is good to be reminded that life is fleeting and it is high time to take your head out of the sand of mundane problems.

It is ALL good.